Theme for 2019: Comfort

Serendipity is the one word that describes the path to my choosing a one-word theme for 2019.

I was listening to the Happier podcast while doing strength training, and the episode was about choosing a one-word theme for the new year.

And without really giving it much thought, my endorphins delivered unto me a word:

Comfort

And I knew instantly that it was right.

What do I want more of? Comfort

What do I want to give more of? Comfort

It’s a word that inspired me, that same evening after my workout, to sit down and read a book. Even though there was filing and tidying to do.

Happy cat, cozy slippers, snuggly throw, hot tea, good book, happy home

So now I’m thinking of ways to make our home more comfortable and our lives more relaxed. There’s gonna be comfort food and comfy clothes and cozy evenings. I’m looking forward to it.

Anyone else have a one-word theme for 2019?

19 for 2019

Last year I was inspired by the Happier podcast to create a list of 18 goals for 2018. And I got ’em done!

Now I’m excited about 2019… cuz I dearly adore the setting and pursuit of goals.

Here’s what I’ve got in mind for the year ahead…

Yes, it’s lovely… but does it type??
  • Learn Instagram Stories with the Dear Man
  • Spend some serious quality time with our sisters
  • Learn & use 12 new techniques on the blog
  • Decide whether to catalog our home library
  • Perfect my Caesar salad
  • Set a twice-a-month grocery shopping rotation and stick with it
  • Style our kitchen island seasonally
  • Find out if my vintage typewriter actually works… and if so, use it
  • Write a series of blog posts
  • Go on at least 3 history geek trips with the Dear Man
  • Actually go through all those boxes in the basement
  • Have dinner twice monthly with a good friend
  • Do at least 3 of the activities in This Is Where You Belong
  • Fix formatting on all blog posts (cuz that Blogger import was not perfect)
  • Maximize the use of our new Instant Pot
  • Go on a field trip with a good friend
  • Figure out the layout of the den
  • Get the TVs set up
  • Research the history of our (school)house
Home sweet schoolhouse

And yes, it occurs to me that I’ve bitten off more than I can chew… but that’s nothing new.

So I’m launching into the new year with big goals and too many of them… and I’m ready to have at it!

And I mean it when I say I adore goals, and I’m love to hear yours. What are your plans for the new year?

18 for 2018: done!

Early in the year, I set up 18 goals — some big, some small — for 2018.

And then I started pickin’ ’em off…  

And I kept at it, sort of.  

And then completing the list wasn’t looking likely during the Fall Update, but I pulled it off in the end. 

Here’s the account of the final 3 items on the list…

Buy typewriter key jewelry

Way earlier in the year, when I was trapped someplace with only my phone at hand, I scouted out some sources for typewriter key jewelry. And then I sat on it for months, because busy. So in mid-December, I re-did the search cuz the clock was ticking. And while I’d love to be able to wear a bracelet of typewriter keys, I just can’t do bracelets. (They get in my way!) So I went for the necklace. This one.

        

Memorize five quotes

Done! (I’d share them, but they’re for myself alone*)  

Invite friends for dinner

I’m a nervous chef who performs best without pressure.

And dinner guests = pressure.

Plus, lots of us are tricky to feed (special diets, specialized palate, restrictions, all that stuff).

So I’m calling this good: we invited the Dear Man’s Dear Sister and Dear Brother-in-Law (who definitely are our friends), and we ordered a pizza from a local place that makes deep dish pizzas that one cooks at home. So:

Friends    CHECK

Applying heat to dinner  CHECK

Serving said dinner to said friends CHECK

Stick a fork in it: it’s done!

Here’s the full (completed!) list of my 18 for 2018…

  • Call old friends on a regular basis
  • Buy typewriter key jewelry    
  • Go on southern vacation with the Dear Man and Younger Sister
  • Go on northern vacation with the Dear Man and Older Sister
  • Roast vegetables once a month
  • Burn a candle when writing
  • Buy fresh flowers & watch a YouTube video to figure out how to arrange them
  • Invite friends for dinner
  • Begin meditating
  • Memorize 5 quotes    
  • Visit 3 history geek places
  • Replace long wool coat
  • Bake 2 family recipes
  • Buy warm winter coat & boots
  • Remind myself to slow down once per day
  • Complete 2 of the 3: Book Bingo, Read Harder, and Modern Mrs Darcy reading challenges
  • Zipline
  • Do a deep decluttering of my house

And now it’s on to planning my 19 for 2019…

What’re your favorite accomplishments of the year?


*Not true: The Dear Man knows what they are

18 for 2018: fall update

We’re heading into the final 6 weeks of the year, and here’s one final 18 for 2018 update before the year-end reckoning…

Since the last update, here’s what’s happened around here…

Roast vegetables once a month

OK, so I outsourced this one. Or, as someone less charitable said, I cheated.  Here’s what happened… I’ve been running around trying to do my life for the past year, and grocery shopping only happened at the margins of life. And cooking? Ha! There was no cooking! Then the Dear Man and I moved into our new home, and he’s an expert vegetable roaster, and within the first two months, he roasted enough vegetables (which I ate) to count for the rest of the year. I asked him if I could borrow his labor to count for my goal, and he, being one of Earth’s best Earthlings, said, “Of course.” So we’re checking this one off the list. For those keeping score at home…

Vegetable roasting scoreboard

Unruly: 4

Dear Man: 8+

 

Complete 2 of the 3: Book Bingo, Read Harder, and Modern Mrs Darcy reading challenges

I completed the Modern Mrs Darcy challenge months ago, and I was almost done with our own homegrown Book Bingo except for that pesty “Read the Movie” category. I don’t really like movies so very much, and I can get stubborn about reading something I know is being made into a movie. But: Done and Done!

 

So here’s the full list for the year, with accomplished items in italics…

  • Call old friends on a regular basis
  • Buy typewriter key jewelry
  • Go on southern vacation with the Dear Man and Younger Sister
  • Go on northern vacation with the Dear Man and Older Sister
  • Roast vegetables once a month
  • Burn a candle when writing
  • Buy fresh flowers & watch a YouTube video to figure out how to arrange them
  • Invite friends for dinner
  • Begin meditating
  • Memorize 5 quotes
  • Visit 3 history geek places
  • Replace long wool coat
  • Bake 2 family recipes
  • Buy warm winter coat & boots
  • Remind myself to slow down once per day
  • Complete 2 of the 3: Book Bingo, Read Harder, and Modern Mrs Darcy reading challenges
  • Zipline
  • Do a deep decluttering of my house

This leaves the tough ones to achieve in these final 6 weeks:

  • Memorize 5 quotes  [I’ve got this one well in hand]
  • Buy typewriter key jewelry  [I got distracted and bought an actual typewriter. But I think I can still handle this one]
  • Invite friends for dinner   [This one still scares me! Hosting a dinner party: terrifying]

If anyone has tips for hosting a very small dinner party, please post them in the comments. I need some help.

Nonfiction November: Self-Improvement… Ask the Expert

This week’s Nonfiction November topic is brought to us by my talented friend Julie of JulzReads. (Hey, Julz!)

And here we have it…

Be The Expert/Ask the Expert/Become the Expert
Three ways to join in this week! You can either share three or more books on a single topic that you have read and can recommend (be the expert), you can put the call out for good nonfiction on a specific topic that you have been dying to read (ask the expert), or you can create your own list of books on a topic that you’d like to read (become the expert).

Last year I posted about self-improvement books, and guess what?

This year: more self-improvement!

 

Only this year, I’m asking the experts. (That’s you-all!)

Now that my life is a much happier thing overall, and now that I have some additional margin due to that much shorter commute, I find myself stretching in some new ways.

Here’s the thing: I’ve got the time management and efficiency pieces pretty much under control. I’ve upped my decluttering game.

And this can only mean one thing… we’re getting into serious Brene Brown be-brave territory. And also some facing of the Enneagram dark side issues.

We’re talking: becoming a better human.

So here’s my question to all of you good people:

What book made you a better person?

I’m looking for some books that’ll take me into the tough territory of really looking at the areas that have been neglected in favor of the easier tasks of getting more done in an efficient way. I’m talking: addressing one’s full humanity. It’s gettin’ real around here.

18 for 2018 Update

While I was all busy with moving plans these past few months, I neglected my 18 for 2018 list like nobody’s business. And now it’s time to get back on track. Today we’re taking a look at the rather paltry Q3 progress…

During the past few months, I’ve accomplished four of the things on the list:

Call old friends on a regular basis

Because sometimes I’ll do things I want to do only if those things are scheduled (this frustrates me about myself), I set up a reminder in Google Calendar to prompt me when it’s time to call a faraway friend. Then I actually call. And it’s making my life a better, richer thing.

Burn a candle when writing

I’m literally doing this one as I type this post. I lit a candle in the middle of the kitchen island, where I sit with the laptop, and it’s a pretty dreamy scene.

Buy fresh flowers & watch a YouTube video to figure out how to arrange them

I watched this video, bought some flowers, and arranged them. I was feeling all satisfied with my work after two successful attempts. And then I attempted to blend two bunches of flowers I bought at Trader Joe’s, and I couldn’t get them right. We’re going back to the basics, my friends…

Do a deep decluttering of my house

The home library still looks like this…

So did I mention that we moved?

It’s only completely dominated my free moments the past few months. And for all those months, I was decluttering like a wild thing. And then, at the last moment, right before the moving van arrived, I pitched a whole bunch more stuff. And post-move, we went through a week of making daily Goodwill deliveries. Now we’re down to twice-a-week Goodwill drop-offs. And we’ve got miles to go…

So here’s the updated list, with the items I’ve accomplished in italics. All those things in normal font? I gotta get at it!

      • Call old friends on a regular basis
      • Buy typewriter key jewelry
      • Go on southern vacation with the Dear Man and Younger Sister
      • Go on northern vacation with the Dear Man and Older Sister
      • Roast vegetables once a month
      • Burn a candle when writing
      • Buy fresh flowers & watch a YouTube video to figure out how to arrange them
      • Invite friends for dinner
      • Begin meditating
      • Memorize 5 quotes
      • Visit 3 history geek places
      • Replace long wool coat
      • Bake 2 family recipes
      • Buy warm winter coat & boots
      • Remind myself to slow down once per day
      • Complete 2 of the 3: Book Bingo, Read Harder, and Modern Mrs Darcy reading challenges
      • Zipline
      • Do a deep decluttering of my house

Will I make it? Stay tuned…

Anyone have any advice for me on how to knock any of those remaining items off the list? I’ll gladly hear anything you got!

18 for 2018 update

Mid-year approaches, and it’s time for a check-in on the 18 for 2018.

Since the last update, I’ve knocked off a few more items.

Here’s photographic evidence of the latest conquests…

 

Go on northern vacation with the Dear Man and Older Sister

The Dear Man, his sister and her husband, and I trekked to Minnesota and Canada to visit my dad. And it was a spectacular trip. Here’s some scenery and a photo at Betty’s Pies…

 

Begin meditating

Just this morning, I was listening to episode 49 of the Typology podcast, in which Julianne Cusick (a fellow Enneagram One) spoke about how horribly difficult it is for Ones to be still.

Truth, sister!

I’ve been meandering my way through the delightful book Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics, resisting every step of the way.

Despite being certain that I’d have a mediation habit firmly established by now, I will report that I’ve meditated exactly twice. For one minute each time.

And I intend to try it again at least weekly for the rest of the year. I’m saying this counts.

 

Visit 3 history geek places

The Dear Man and I recently hit about 6 historically geeky sites in one day. I really should’ve raised the bar on this one. During our recent canoe trip in Ohio, we saw the airplane that served as Air Force 1 for JFK and LBJ — the one that carried Kennedy’s body home from Texas, Simon Kenton’s grave, the site of four forts, Wright Brothers historic sites, and the birthplace of Tecumseh. Not to mention Erma Bombeck’s grave (literary! I loved dipping into her books from my mom’s bookshelf when I was growing up.)

Verklempt!

 

Remind myself to slow down once per day

I set up a Google Calendar alert that pops up on my phone and buzzes on my Fitbit, and invariably it happens at a moment when I’m whirling around like a pint-sized tornado. Then I take a deep breath. A really deep breath. And I actually slow down. For just a moment.

 

And I’ve made a mid-year substitution to the list, after hearing on the Happier podcast that this is permissible. (Dear heaven. I needed permission from a podcast to change one of my goals. Such a One.)

Off the list: Paddle board a second time.

While I really liked paddle boarding in Costa Rica, I seriously don’t feel like trying to wedge it into this summer’s activities. It was stressing me out. So off it goes.

New on the list: Do a deep decluttering of my house

Just when I thought I’d KonMari’d to my full potential, I realized I’d barely scratched the surface. During my most recent Goodwill delivery, the trunk and back seat of my car were packed to the gills. And it feels so good I can hardly believe it. My new sport is entering a room of my house, looking around, spotting the next thing to go, and tossing it into the Goodwill pile. Not to brag, but I’m pretty sure I’ve reached Olympic qualifying status.

 

And there are several projects in progress… calling old friends, following flower-arranging hashtags on Instagram, and roasting vegetables. And my reading challenge progress is respectable.

So… based on what remains on the list, the second half of the year is going to be domestic in the extreme. Here goes…

Here’s the full list… Items in italics are Done!

  • Call old friends on a regular basis
  • Buy typewriter key jewelry
  • Go on southern vacation with the Dear Man and Younger Sister
  • Go on northern vacation with the Dear Man and Older Sister
  • Roast vegetables once a month
  • Burn a candle when writing
  • Buy fresh flowers & watch a YouTube video to figure out how to arrange them
  • Invite friends for dinner
  • Begin meditating
  • Memorize 5 quotes
  • Visit 3 history geek places
  • Bake 2 family recipes
  • Replace long wool coat
  • Buy warm winter coat & boots
  • Remind myself to slow down once per day
  • Complete 2 of the 3: Book Bingo, Read Harder, and Modern Mrs Darcy reading challenges
  • Zipline
  • Do a deep decluttering of my house

 

So, my fellow list makers… What’s on your list of goals for the year?

18 for 2018

One of my weekly treats is listening to the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast.

In episode 149, Gretchen and her co-host (and sister) Elizabeth Craft introduced the concept of 18 for 2018 — a list of things to accomplish this year.

The list can contain whatever a person wants — big things or little, easy or difficult, simple or multi-phased.

I love goal-setting, I love lists, I love this concept.

So I wrote me a list.

Completed items: they’re in italics. And yes, as of the date of this posting, I’ve already ziplined.

Here are my 18 for 2018…

 

  1. Call each old friend on a regular basis
  2. Buy typewriter key jewelry
  3. Go on southern vacation with the Dear Man and Younger Sister
  4. Go on northern vacation with the Dear Man and Older Sister
  5. Roast vegetables once a month
  6. Burn a candle when writing
  7. Buy fresh flowers & watch a YouTube video to figure out how to arrange them
  8. Invite friends for dinner
  9. Begin meditating
  10. Memorize 5 quotes
  11. Visit 3 history geek places
  12. Bake 2 family recipes
  13. Replace long wool coat
  14. Buy warm winter coat & boots
  15. Remind myself to slow down once per day
  16. Complete 2 of the 3: Book Bingo, Read Harder, and Modern Mrs Darcy reading challenges
  17. Zipline
  18. Paddle board a second time

 

So, how about you? Any lists of goals for the year?

 

Reading Reading People and then reading people

Reading People: How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything by Anne Bogel

3 words: conversational, personal, thoughtful

 

I knew right away that I’d love this book, because I really like Anne Bogel’s narrative voice. She writes the Modern Mrs Darcy blog, which is a very pleasant place to hang out. And she hosts the What Should I Read Next podcast, which is one of my favorite things ever.

Plus: this book’s about personality frameworks, and I dearly love those things.

So what we have here is the set-up for an optimal reading experience. Just put a big mug of coffee in one hand, some decadent chocolate in the other, and this book in my lap —  and plunk me in front of my fireplace with my favorite snuggly throw, and we’re talking serious bliss.

I’ve been a personality fanatic for a while now, and I’ve read about Myers-Briggs, Strengthsfinder, and the Love Languages. This book covers those frameworks, but also lots of others… so that was super exciting.

If you’re not already into this stuff, this book is a welcoming doorway into the realm of personality frameworks. It serves as an enticing sampler of lots of different methods, each accompanied by personal stories and examples that make the book very warm and friendly.

If you’re already a personality framework devotee, this book will also make you happy, because the way it explores the various frameworks from a personal perspective provides some really surprising insights.

For example (and this is embarrassing, but we’re all friends here, so here I go…) the way Anne writes about Strengthsfinder made me realize:

Oh my gosh. Other people don’t have the same strengths I have, and I’ve always assumed everyone has them just by nature. And because I’m a Type 1 on the Enneagram, sometimes I’ve done some judging about that.

(Fortunately, I’m also an introvert and was raised to be extremely polite, so those thoughts I’ve kept to myself.)

Of course, I’ve also always judged myself lacking in strengths and tendencies that come easily to others, and I’ve wondered what was wrong with me.

And while there’s plenty wrong with me, some of those characteristics were simply strengths others possess in droves, which I simply ain’t got.

The lovely thing about this book is that Anne describes her own process of self-discovery with her personality, and she’s candid and kind about the situations that can arise before we understand what’s really going on.

For example, she writes about the way she and one of her children are set differently with regard to planning; she is casual and easy about allowing a day to develop organically, and her child feels more comfortable knowing the plan well in advance. (I totally get this.) By merely understanding where each person is coming from, problems: averted. Pretty amazing and powerful stuff. And the way she writes about these things is gentle and respectful of everyone in the scenario, and I really like that.

So reading this book felt like hanging out with a trusted, thoughtful friend who’s willing to serve as your guide to self-discovery and also willing to share her own missteps and ah-ha! moments… cuz none of us is in this alone.

 

Give this book a whirl if you like… personality frameworks, self-improvement blended with memoir, figuring yourself out, a friendly voice

 

Readers… what book most expanded your understanding of yourself? Fiction, nonfiction, it all counts…

When to read When by Daniel Pink? ASAP

When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing by Daniel H. Pink

3 words: thought-provoking, practical, fun to read

 

OK, so we know me & self-improvement books are like this, right?

 

 

Well, this one takes it up a notch. Several notches, actually. Because here’s a phrase you don’t often hear a person utter, when referring to a self-improvement book:

“This is so much fun to read, I don’t wanna put it down!”

No, the usual statements go something like this:

  • “This book is blowing my mind.”
  • “I keep making a list of all the new thing I wanna try.”
  • “Wow! Suddenly things make so much sense!”

 

This book caused those responses, too, but the “This is so much fun to read” comment is the one that stands out here. And reading the Acknowledgments explained why: Pink’s wife read the whole book out loud to him, so he could edit it. Every book written with this approach has delighted me. (See Chernow’s Alexander Hamilton)

 

So: much of what I loved about When involved the writing style and the tone.

But people, the content! The information! The stuff a person can learn!

Here are a few that stood out for me:

  • We all have an afternoon slump. There are tactics we can use to counteract it, but basically we have to work around it.
  • We also have a midpoint slump (and sometimes a midpoint spark). When we’re in the middle of a project, we can slow down and lose enthusiasm. But it’s also at the midpoint — halfway to a deadline — that we often kick it into gear. (That’s the midpoint spark variation.)
  • The perfect nap: the nappuccino
  • I’ve got bad news and good news…  (Deliver the bad news first)

 

And here’s a tip I’ve been actually using and feeling pretty good about:

At the end of the workday, spend 2-3 minutes writing down what you accomplished that day — because making progress on goals is a significant motivator. I often think of small steps on projects as moving the ball down the field, and if I stop and appreciate those little steps, it can be darn satisfying.

vintage clock

I whipped through this book in 2 days flat. I could not and would not put it down. And then told the Dear Man all the things that are fascinating about this book. And then I also told his Dear Sister and Dear Brother-in-Law, who were captive in the car with us.

 

This will also happen to you. You’ve been warned.

 

Give this book a whirl if you like.. exploring everyday life through new eyes, thinking about timing, considering factors that surprisingly affect outcomes, Freakonomics, compulsively readable prose

 

What books have you found compulsively readable or quotable?